Time flies. How cliché. Into the second semester with exciting classes, but amidst the adrenaline rush, somehow feel that I could be/seem to subconsciously have particular expectations about what I hope to get out of the time away from Singapore so there's this ominous cloud as a backdrop to all that's happening now. That perhaps, I am not experiencing/doing MORE.

Just the other day, I was reminding myself, that I am surrounded by wonderful people. People who made sure that I'm warm on that chilly -18degC day. Like a housemate wrapping me up with my scarf making sure my face is sufficiently covered, another housemate who turned back after leaving house to warn me that the stairs are slippery and that I should watch my step, and yet another housemate who thought carefully how I could take care of my broken toe nail. I guess I am greedy. I wish things were EVEN better. Terrible. Like a kid, I wish/sometimes thought my world is surrounded by Samaritans. I'm attempting to organize a CNY meal with Singaporeans and others who I feel that I'm close with. The childish, petty, terrible me who want a world full of Samaritans stubbornly refused myself to invite B and C. I talked to a housemate just now, that I feel half bad, and just a wee bit guilty. After discussing for a while, and keeping in mind that I am attempting to grow up (oh seriously?!), I sent out the invitation mail to them. A step and a toast towards a greater sky.

And then 2 days ago, before my school officially started, I sulked. I just felt so gloomy because the first class is the compulsory class, which structure and teaching fellows I absolutely detest. Its horrible. The procrastination I put up and the time I wasted thinking about how I can torture my teaching fellow. I have to admit, that was totally childish of me. I paid only a portion of my attention to the class, attempting to catch some ball of 'globish' and then was put on the spot when a teaching fellow decided to mention Singapore and Singlish, and kindly also tried to call my name like 'sok, sock? soki, sokee?', by which time I attempted to hide/slouch behind my BIG mac. Somehow I feel that most of the classmates don't really want to know more about other countries and the diversity of teaching styles, learning styles, or even parenting styles. It just seems like a formality to just talk about Singlish when (I think) they can't be bothered. I could be mistaken, but by far I only know one person who's not a Singaporean, who seems to be loving and attempting to learn Singlish. (She's nuts - she's actually watching Phua Chu Kang after I told her about it, though her learning curve of Singlish is amusing me and making my day)

Within the first two days of school, seems to me I have done/seen a lot of things which I couldn't have done in SG. I introduced Singlish to a bunch of mildly interested people who thought that Singlish is just some form of English; I went through a -18degC day and had breakfast in an American diner; I met with a nobel laureate whereby I stuttered like crazy; I interned, did fMRI, learn more about ERP (no, not the road/car thing in SG.); I cooked (pretty good food I must say, and yes I don't do that in SG.); I rushed between three different schools (or rather faculties) doing three extremely different subjects at one shot; I had dinner with housemates which made me feel like its a family dinner (though everyone was having DIFFERENT food because we cooked separately though at the same time.) All in all, life's good. I'm just grumbling. I wish things were BETTER.

No sooner is your ocean filled, than he grumbles that it might have been of better vintage. Try him with half of a Universe, of an Omnipotence, he sets to quarrelling with the proprietor of the other half, and declares himself the most maltreated of men. Always there is a black spot in our sunshine: it is even as I said, the Shadow of Ourselves.

-Thomas Carlyle