shit. i was hit below the belt. and what do i do? i fume. i fume within myself and lash at myself. aint healthy and only add salt to the hit. i can only regret that instant which will be used forever as an underhand hit. that can be brought up when u least expect it, or when u half expect it and dread it. to feel a cold wave of helplessness with that lash. then i wonder. do i really regret? maybe. maybe not. regret i hurt some innocent parties when i was supposed to take aim. i'm supposed to take careful aim.

i'm losing it.